| One weathercaster called it a "must-see | | | | even better than "Scream," would |
| light and shadow show by the Old Master | | | | doubtless have languished in perpetual |
| Himself," but I can't say this last | | | | turnaround since filmgoers would have |
| solar eclipse was worthy of the | | | | found the emotions of fear and panic |
| recommendation. Not even total, and | | | | depicted in the original much too weird |
| staged (in my location anyway) behind a | | | | and elusive for a sequel to ever be |
| thick cloud cover that served only to | | | | greenlighted. |
| diffuse the vivid contrasts essential to | | | | What's more, we can be reasonably |
| any dramatic effect, the "Old Master" | | | | certain that the popular denouement of |
| might have been faxing it in from deep | | | | the "happy ending"-the product of an |
| space somewhere for all the | | | | inevitable backlash-would never have |
| incandescence it could claim. Quite | | | | been developed. |
| frankly, as light shows go, I thought | | | | So while it's often, for me, like |
| more interesting work was being done at | | | | feeling obliged to respect whatever that |
| the Electric Circus back in the '60s. | | | | was that Marcel Marceau used to do, even |
| Now let's please not have any | | | | as you knew that one more minute of it |
| misunderstandings. I'm aware that I'm | | | | and your lungs were going to erupt with |
| criticizing the performance of a | | | | blood, I'm more than prepared to honor |
| venerable figure who, over the eons and | | | | the "Old Master's" achievements. It's |
| in every conceivable form and category, | | | | just that I'm not what you'd call a huge |
| has compiled an impressive oeuvre. If I | | | | fan. What puts me off most |
| have to confess that a lot of His stuff | | | | is...well...it's His LORDLY attitude. I |
| is not to my taste, that I find much of | | | | could forgive Him a lot-yes, even those |
| it heavy-handed or impenetrable (when, | | | | tedious revivals of His wind-and-water |
| indeed, it is not distracted and slack), | | | | specials that take out half a state-were |
| this doesn't mean I've failed to | | | | He less disdainful of His audience, less |
| recognize the enormous contribution He's | | | | willfully opaque and ambiguous. I know |
| made. | | | | this "mysterious ways" thing is a |
| I'm thinking, of course, of the models | | | | cornerstone of His persona and I can |
| some of His stunning manipulations of | | | | understand His reluctance to give it up. |
| the more volatile natural elements | | | | But, bordering on the pathological, His |
| provided for the Irwin Allen disaster | | | | aversion to making His meanings known is |
| films. And, to be sure, there's His | | | | wearing a little thin, don't you think? |
| introduction of death itself which, | | | | I'll allow that, however disappointing |
| brilliantly counterbalancing His earlier | | | | it may be, it's ultimately of small |
| invention of genders and sex, | | | | consequence when He mounts a shoddy |
| forestalled the unwieldy prospect of | | | | eclipse. But it's something else again |
| twenty-thousand expansion teams in just | | | | when, for one especially egregious |
| the American League East (and, say, the | | | | example, He leaves you to blow out all |
| 2005 playoffs extending well into the | | | | your circuits trying to figure just |
| 2020 season). But that's hardly been the | | | | where Hannity and Colmes fit into the |
| limit of this remarkable innovation's | | | | notion that if you're on the planet it's |
| reach and impact. In its absence, | | | | for a reason. |
| "Scream 2," which everyone agrees was | | | | |