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Article #409: My French is Just Shocking

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The FA cup final is a great British into his own hands; in fairness to
tradition, like a one shot tennis rally Gattuso, it was an educated guess from
or stitching up the Irish. the ginger evidence. The 14/1 for a
This year, the top two teams in the Scholes opener is my best attempt at
country will go head to head in the finding value in the first goalscorer
greatest exhibition since Lady Godiva market.
whipped out her milk dispensers in a Chelsea's injury crisis may well be a
brave bid to flee Coventry on the back of blessing in disguise. As Carvalho knows
one on the Van Nistelrooy clan. only too well, Wayne Rooney has previous
Most bookmakers are treating this year's for walking all over a Ballack. Correct
showpiece as a 'Wolverhampton brother and score betting is always a tough nut to
sister match', they just can't separate crack; I'll take a small interest in a
them. 3-1 win for Man U at 25/1.
For my money, Manchester United have a Gary Neville looks likely to miss the
definite edge. The Red Devils have match, so referee Steve Bennett may well
looked hotter than a vindaloo-eating, be the busiest person on the pitch.
three sweater-wearing, fever-riddled Anna Bennett once sent off Tim Cahill for
Kournikova all season long; the 10/11 for lifting his shirt when celebrating a
United to lift the trophy is practically goal, Ashley Cole is said to be seething
unmissable. with the appointment. This match will be
I refuse to shy away from the difficult fiery; backing a red card to be shown may
questions. Why is it that Jose Mourinho pay dividends at 3/1.
can be arrested for harbouring a The new Wembley may well be pleasing to
potentially dangerous dog, yet Lenny the eye, but their prices are an absolute
Henry roams the streets with impunity? disgrace. Cheeseburgers are £5 and a
There is no greater lover of dogs than hot dog is £4; maybe Ashley was right
Mourinho, with the possible exception of all along. Bookies are offering odds on
Park Ji-Sung. I find the 9/5 for a the first player to be carded; Ashley
Manchester United win in 90 minutes Cole is worth a small punt at 14/1.
completely barking. The Scottish Premier league is not so
Chelsea will have their supporters at 9 different from its English counterpart,
5, but the vibes emanating from the apart from the blood alcohol level of the
Bridge are far from positive. supporters. The in form Hearts have
Uncertainty surrounds the future of peaked at the business end of the season;
Lampard, and John Terry's contract talks they look a great punt at even money to
break down more often than my old escort. see off Kilmarnock.
I sometimes wish that Wayne Rooney had I've promised the wife a curry if the
never given me her number. weekend accer obliges, as long as she
Rooney, Ronaldo and Giggs are all sits opposite Chris Tarrant. Manchester
match-winners on their day, but Paul United, Hearts, Rangers and Real Madrid
Scholes holds the key to a United are the selections, the payout is a spicy
victory. Gattuso recently suggested that 22/1.
Scholes likes to take his little matter






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