| There are two kinds of parents who really bug | | | | |
| a conscientious, caring Coach. Here is #1. | | | | "But Rachel wants to be the champ. I don't" |
| | | | |
| "I have never been a winner but my son is | | | | "Now cut that out, Tom. You are beginning to |
| going to be a winner." | | | | sound like your brother, Ben. He had a great |
| | | | future in playing Scrabble. Could have gone |
| Those are the words of Emmet Rucker -- no, | | | | all the way to the nationals, but he quit -- |
| not the spoken words. In fact, Emmet would be | | | | embarrassed the whole family. Now it's him |
| surprised and indignant if the Coach were to | | | | and his stupid guitar. He's even flunking |
| ask, "Don't you think that you're trying to | | | | Algebra. And the way he's dressing! I don't |
| become successful through the efforts of your | | | | know where he went wrong." |
| child, Tom? Let's listen in as Emmet talks to | | | | |
| Tom: | | | | Instant Analysis:1. Emmet is dealing with his |
| | | | goals instead of Tom's goals. |
| "Well, son, we have a lot of work to do to | | | | |
| get you ready for the regional Tiddly Winks | | | | 2. Emmet and his wife are pleased with Rachel |
| championships." | | | | because she has accepted the same goals are |
| | | | theirs. Let's hope that Rachel really wants |
| "But, Dad, I am only 9 years old and some of | | | | them to be her goals and is not knuckling |
| the guys there are 12 years old. They will | | | | under to the pressure. We will see if she |
| cream me." | | | | continues her quest or if she decides it is |
| | | | really not worth it and quits. |
| "I know that, Tom, but it is never too early | | | | |
| to learn how to compete. And you should | | | | 3. Emmet is not going to take any |
| compete against players who are better than | | | | responsibility for Ben's decision to quit the |
| you. If my dad had started me out early | | | | task they marked off for him. In fact, he is |
| enough, I would have been a champ. I never | | | | going to blame him for being strong enough to |
| made it to the top but I am going to help you | | | | go his own way, for "going wrong." |
| get there. I bought a new gizmo to help | | | | |
| strengthen the muscles in your hands, I put | | | | Are You an Emmet? Check the Appropriate Box: |
| new felt on the board so it's like the one | | | | |
| they'll have at the tournament, and I set up | | | | ___ Nope, that's not me and will never be me. |
| a schedule for you to practice with a new | | | | |
| coach. You need to cut down some of that time | | | | ___ Wow! That's too close for comfort. Thanks |
| you been wasting on that computer, but it | | | | for pointing this out to me. |
| will pay off." | | | | |
| | | | ___ Yes, that's me and I will continue |
| "But, Dad, I love to work on the computer and | | | | dealing with my child in this correct way. |
| I am learning how to write stories and ..." | | | | |
| | | | Sometimes we parents blur the line between |
| "You know, Tom, sometimes you simply do not | | | | who we are and who our kids are. We don't let |
| appreciate what your Mom and I do for you | | | | them become the unique, special persons that |
| kids. Like right now your Mom is working with | | | | they are and will be. It is our job, as |
| your sister to make her a Ball and Jacks | | | | parents, to make our children independent of |
| champ just like she was when she was a kid." | | | | us.Peter S. Pierro, EdD parentscoachesasteam. |