| The wife is a born complainer. Even this | | | | the myth that pot doesn't lead to violence. |
| week's little snowfall failed to improve her | | | | Backing Benayoun to net the opening goal at |
| mood; I overheard her on the phone to her | | | | 16/1 will lead to an abundance of riches. |
| mother complaining that 'it's only a couple | | | | |
| of inches'. It kept the kids quiet though. | | | | I'm all for having a good laugh; you should |
| | | | see the wife. But as often is the case, some |
| I try to convey a rosier outlook, but even | | | | people can take things too far. Some |
| the great Monty Panesar would struggle to put | | | | 'comedian' has hacked into a number of |
| a positive spin on the shambles that is the | | | | websites to show Scotland sitting on top of a |
| England football team. | | | | qualifying group that includes France and |
| | | | Italy. The 10/3 for a draw between the |
| A recent poll showed that 67% believe that | | | | Sweaties and Georgia is a genuine reason to |
| Steve McClaren is the wrong man for the job; | | | | raise a little smile. |
| the other 33% are either having the question | | | | |
| reread to them or are Scottish, and there's a | | | | Stan Staunton's left foot was so polished; it |
| fair chance that it's both. | | | | would often gleam like Andy Johnson's noggin. |
| | | | But somewhat paradoxically, a great player |
| The manager's original squad selection for | | | | rarely makes a good manager. Only a last |
| the match against Israel was a joke. There | | | | minute strike saved the Irish from ridicule |
| are only two people in this world who believe | | | | against San Marino last time out, I like the |
| that Phil Neville is a better full-back than | | | | look of the Welsh at 43/10. |
| Gareth Barry. Steve McClaren is one; the | | | | |
| other is hanging out with Bashful, Sneezy, | | | | Northern Ireland travel to Liechtenstein for |
| Doc, Happy, Sleepy and the wife. | | | | their qualifier and I fancy the footballing |
| | | | minnows to take a pasting. Admittedly, that |
| It's easy to blame the hapless McClaren, but | | | | doesn't really narrow down the bet selection. |
| it's his employers who are the real culprits. | | | | It's Northern Ireland at 4/9. |
| The suits at the FA are so clueless; it | | | | |
| wouldn't surprise me if their plans for the | | | | A stunning French lady has recently moved in |
| new Wembley include appointing Freddie | | | | next door. I do think it's important to try |
| Flintoff as a barman and Frank Lampard as the | | | | and get on with your neighbours, so I've been |
| catering manager. The situation is a | | | | trying to get on for the last few weeks. |
| shambles; back Israel to beat England at 21 | | | | France look a sumptuous betting proposition |
| 5, then back them again. | | | | at 1/2 against Lithuania. |
| | | | |
| A recently discovered tribe of Congolese | | | | Being a friendly soul, I've introduced Nicole |
| pygmies have admitted knowing absolutely | | | | to the local leisure centre. I'm not a great |
| nothing of western civilisation, other than | | | | swimmer, but i try to get the occasional |
| the fact you can't play Lampard and Gerrard | | | | length in. The Greeks and the Turks do not |
| in the same team. | | | | share my literal 'love thy neighbour' |
| | | | philosophy; a draw between the old foes will |
| In my opinion, big Frank should be the one to | | | | keep everyone happy at 11/5. |
| make way. There's no doubting the fact that | | | | |
| he's worth his weight in gold to Chelsea, | | | | The accer this week is so charming; I'm using |
| although Fort Knox would probably struggle | | | | it as a tool to woo the lovely Nicole. There |
| with an order of such colossal magnitude. | | | | are only three selections, but hopefully size |
| | | | isn't important. Wales, France and Israel |
| A crazed supporter tried to punch a shirtless | | | | are the picks, the payout is a magnificent 37 |
| Frank Lampard earlier in the week, dispelling | | | | 1. |