| You'll never really get what you want!If that | | | | unconsciously induce self-sabotaging behavior |
| sounds crazy, or a little harsh, read on | | | | to decrease their performance. One example is |
| because it's true.Hoping, wishing, dreaming, | | | | a week-end golfer who dreams of shooting in |
| planning and acting - while extremely | | | | the low 80's but normally shoots in the high |
| important - aren't lasting or of sufficient | | | | 90's (and expects to do so again). When he |
| force themselves to gain your greatest | | | | finds he has shot in the low 40's on the |
| desires.Haven't you known talented and | | | | front nine, although very excited about the |
| capable people who want great things but just | | | | possibility to "finally do it," he |
| always seem to have "bad luck" or negative | | | | subconsciously becomes uncomfortable, saying |
| experiences, such as: being left out; getting | | | | "this isn't like me." Before long he has |
| fired; forgetting something important; they | | | | happily hooked, blindly bogied, and fired a |
| "goofed up" when they knew there was a lot | | | | sand-trap seeking slice to help him shoot in |
| riding on it; have an argument when they need | | | | the high 50's on the back nine so he can |
| to have some peace; give up, again; have some | | | | check in with his "expectation thermostat," |
| major problem; be turned down; get picked | | | | shooting in the high 90's and comfortably |
| last on a team; not get asked to dance; pick | | | | say, "now, that's more like me."Have you ever |
| the one piece of chocolate out of the box | | | | experienced something like that with regard |
| that they desperately wanted to avoid?On the | | | | to "blowing" a really big sale; losing that |
| other hand, haven't you known equally | | | | huge new client you've dreamed about that |
| talented people who always seem to have | | | | would really launch your business or career; |
| things go their way: they find a parking | | | | gotten tongue-tied during an important |
| space up front; cashiers seem to open a new | | | | presentation that you knew backwards and |
| line for them; they have a great interview; | | | | forwards and seemed to be going so well; |
| get a great bonus; have that special person | | | | falling back into the old habit you're so |
| go on a date with them; get that new client; | | | | desperately trying to break before you even |
| land that opportunity; win an award?What's | | | | get started; said the one thing you swore you |
| the major difference between these two groups | | | | wouldn't touch on during an interview, |
| of people? Surprisingly, it's almost always | | | | etc.?So, what can you do? How do you change |
| their expectations, which operate upon them | | | | your well-worn and wearying expectations or |
| just like a thermostat. A thermostat works | | | | "reset" your thermostat. Just like |
| very simply, based upon a "set point." Let's | | | | professional athletes, entertainers and |
| take a look at how this principle applies to | | | | executives who are in a rut do - and who know |
| these two groups and its impact on the nature | | | | that just telling themselves to "snap out of |
| of winning results.Whether it's hotter or | | | | it!" generally won't make a permanent change. |
| colder inside a room, if you set the | | | | It may give a needed emergency "boost" (like |
| thermostat at 72 what will temperature | | | | a candy bar) but doesn't solve the problem. |
| become? That's right - 72. What will happen | | | | They get help, often working with a |
| to the conditions that affect the | | | | professional coach, mentor or trainer in a |
| temperature? They convert to conform to the | | | | structured, focused, step-by-step process |
| command! As applied to the human psyche, this | | | | designed to create, support and maintain |
| phenomenon is called by many different names | | | | success. That way, instead of pretending they |
| or variations on the theme: laws of | | | | can be progressing. You can develop |
| attraction; power of intention; magnetic | | | | structured support systems and processes as |
| vibration (good "vibes"); | | | | well - or get some help if needed.Research |
| visualization.You've no doubt heard the | | | | shows that increasingly, top execs at Fortune |
| famous declaration that "whatever you can | | | | 500 companies are working with a professional |
| conceive and believe you can achieve." | | | | coach to develop structured systems of |
| NEWSFLASH - you can't successfully "believe" | | | | success that can do things like discipline |
| in opposition to what you "expect."Think | | | | their focus, leverage their efforts, multiply |
| about a baseball player who has hit a number | | | | their results, reset their expectations and |
| of home runs, including some grand slams. | | | | raise their performance much more quickly for |
| Fast forward to the World Series and the | | | | lasting impact to give them the winner's |
| pressure is on - it's up to him. He knows he | | | | edge.ACTION STEPSHere are two action steps |
| has hit home runs before so he BELIEVES he | | | | you can take to immediately go to work on |
| can do it. But he DOESN'T EXPECT to perform | | | | this and start to turn up your expectation |
| under this kind of pressure and has always | | | | thermostat for more achievement:First, work |
| expected someone else, not him, to be the | | | | at paying attention to your thoughts. They |
| hero. What kind of odds will you give his | | | | will give clues as to whether you are |
| team?So what's the power of your | | | | dwelling on empowering or disempowering |
| expectations? If you don't know "HOW" to | | | | ideas. Practice (that's right, practice) |
| accomplish something, but expect you will - | | | | embracing empowering expectations and |
| then you will attract, learn, or do those | | | | discarding disempowering ones - as soon as |
| things that cause it to happen. The Reticular | | | | you "spot" them.Next, if you don't like |
| Activation System (RAS) of your brain is | | | | what's happening, what you're experiencing, |
| turned on and tuned in for opportunities and | | | | or the results you're getting - in any area |
| open paths - much like a football player | | | | of your professional or personal life - take |
| running downfield who sees or even "senses" | | | | a hard and honest look at them, dig deeply |
| an opening and re-sets and changes his path | | | | and ask yourself 1 simple question: "What did |
| to get there. Your RAS driven by your | | | | you expect?" Then immediately tell yourself |
| expectations causes you to act much like a | | | | what you would have had to be be expecting to |
| heat-seeking missile locating your target - | | | | get the results you wanted and rehearse the |
| whether desirable or not.Conversely, if you | | | | experience repeatedly in your mind, imaging |
| do know HOW to accomplish something but | | | | yourself with that expectation. That's the |
| expect you won't - then you will repel and | | | | "winner's way."Larry Gassin, CPA, is |
| reject those things that otherwise would have | | | | Co-founder and CEO of Advanced Coaching |
| caused it to happen.Your expectations | | | | Solutions and is an author and speaker with |
| effectively open or close the channels of | | | | over 20 years of experience as a professional |
| choice and the thoroughfares of thought that | | | | business, executive and leadership coach |
| impact whether or not you achieve that for | | | | whose passion is pointing people to the power |
| which you hope, plan or wish.It is altogether | | | | of their potential and helping them achieve |
| too common for most people operating above | | | | it. |
| the level of their expectations "setpoint" to | | | | |