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Parenting Help: What Football Taught Me About Single Parenting

I had never really associated football withteam when they are home and a different set
being a single father, other than bothfor when they are on the road? Of course not.
happened on weekends. After all, what do twoKeep this in mind when establishing your
teams trying to score touchdowns have to dostructure. This does not mean that your home
with raising children? However, I soonhas be run the same as their other parent's;
realized that all the elements that makeyet, do not go to extremes to make it the
football so fun and exciting to watch was theopposite. There are some benefits to having
answer to also making my parenting time funsome consistency for your children. Plus,
and meaningful. Here are somethis makes it less likely your children will
examples:Parenting Tip #1: Clarify thebe able to manipulate the parent at either
playing  fieldhome.Parenting  Tip  #5:  Be  consistent
Every football field has sidelines and endNothing upsets football players, coaches,
zones. This allows the players to know whatand fans more than when the referees call an
the field of play is and when they getinconsistent game. That is why there are six
rewarded. Children also need this samereferees, whistles, and instant replays. As
structure as they may be unsure about what issingle parents we do not have the luxury of
acceptable behavior is and what is not, plusinstant replays to see what really happened,
when they get rewarded.Parenting Tip #2:nor am I suggesting you wear a whistle.
Establish  basic  rulesNotwithstanding, once the structure is
established, it should not change on a
Football players know to stay on their sideregular basis. This will allow your children
until the ball is snapped, you cannot roughto adjust to the expectations, thus making
the quarterback, and after ten yards you getyour life as a single parent easier.Parenting
a first down. Rules help children of all agesTip  #6:  There  will  be  rule  infractions
understand when they are not behaving in a
way that meets your expectations. However,Even within a football game there are still
you do not need a rule for everything. Johntimes when infractions happen. Defensive
Madden, former NFL Coach and long-time TVholding is a five-yard penalty, while
Analyst, said, The fewer rules a coach has,roughing the kicker is a 15-yard penalty and
the fewer rules there are for players toan automatic first down. Similarly, children
break.In my home, we only have sixwill occasionally break the rules. When this
rules:There's no maid, so everyone helps outhappens, there is a benefit to the parent if
encourages  teamwork.the penalty for poor behavior is
pre-determined. I suggest involving the
One thing at a time shows there should bechildren in determining what a fair penalty
some  form  of  order.is. For example, if your child comes home
more than 10 minutes late, then he/she should
We share and take turns promotesnot plan on going out the following day. If
cooperation.they are aware of this ahead of time, there
will be little argument and less stress for
First things, first can be applied toyou as the parent.Parenting Tip #7: Time outs
homework  before  snack,  etc.need  to  be  managed
Dirty clothes go in the hamper helps arrangeFinally, when a quarterback doesn't like
things  in  a  certain  way.what he sees from the defense, he calls a
time out. He goes to the sideline, talks it
Say please and thank you creates anover, has a drink of water, and then goes on
environment  of  respect  and  appreciation.with the game. Although time out is a common
form of discipline, remember to explain what
Parenting  Tip  #3:  Allow  for  choicesbehavior your children displayed that was
unacceptable and how long they will be in
In football, a team can choose to run ortime out. A rule of thumb is one minute for
pass or on fourth down to go for it or punt.each year old they are. Do this without
Your guidelines should allow for choicesyelling, so the child focuses on their
within a certain parameter, thus helpingbehavior and not yours. After a short time,
children feel they have at least somegive them a drink of water, thus changing
control. Plus, by establishing guidelines,their focus from being upset to settling
your children's choices will bedown. When the time is up, have them explain
acceptable.Parenting Tip #4: Same game homewhy they were on time out, give them a hug
or  away(or in football, a friendly pat on the butt),
thank them for not doing it in the future,
Are there one set of rules for a footballand go on with your day.



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